When I was younger, there was a kid who I was friends with.
Anyway, he was a bit of an awkward fello, but I was one of his few friends and felt bad for him.
I had a girlfriend at the time who I was madly in love with (it's fallen apart now, but that's another story).
Anyway, I was really young (like 15) and staying the night at his house. We shall call him "Kerry" for conversations sake. He started talking about my girlfriend, and saying how much he wanted to have sex with her. I reminded him I was dating her, and he was like "yeah, you wouldnt mind if I give her some fingering or something would you?". I realised he was being serious, and I sort of went quiet. He went on for another 30 mins or so about stuff he'd do to her.
I was furious.
I left the following morning, and didn't speak to him for 2 years.
Several years down the track, in my final year of school he was getting fairly bullied. I wasn't getting bullied at all, was fairly influential, a student representative at my school in an elected position (house captain) and had most things going for me.
One night I was bored with 4 of my friends at my house. Anyway, one of my friends suggested that we order some pizzas to Kerry's house, as a joke. So I started out ordering 4 over the phone. Then my second friend wanted a go. Then my 3rd friend wanted a go. Then the fourth one.
Then I wanted another turn, and it revolved around like this. We made so many calls that we lost count, it was around 20 or so.
We did them all over skype for anonymity, because a friend of mine had loads of skype credit to waste, so it seemed like a hilarious use.
Anyway, during the phone calls, we started to get bored with simply just making routine orders, and started mixing it up a bit.
For instance:
I called a catering company, and told them that the wedding afters were on at Kerry's house, and the previous caterers had fallen through, and we needed several hundred dollars worth of stuff very quickly.
A friend of mine also rang up a snake charming company and asked a snake charmer to come to an Indian wedding reception at the same address.
Then it just got totally absurd. I rang up an ordinary pizza guy, but told him that when he arrived at Kerry's house, he would have to not knock on the door because it would wake people in the house up, but instead he would have to climb in through the top window, and that there was a ladder in the backyard (I knew for a fact there was). And that once he had entry to the house, he had to place the pizza down in the room on the left, and then knock on the door two rooms down to the right (Kerry's bedroom).
I should mention, we made sure that all of these arrivals would come at the same time so we could watch. When we made the first order, we ordered it to arrive in 3 hours time, so that we would have enough time to get down there and view the whole thing.
Now, the basic idea at this point, was that now that we had about 30 places bringing food, all the cars would arrive at once, and cause a physical denial of service attack onto Kerry's house. A denial of service usually occurs in computer networking, where a large network of things all request packets from a certain address at the one time, and it cannot process all the requests and it crashes. So we figured this would be a great experiment to try and cause a real physical roadblock upon his house by so many cars arriving at once.
He lives in sort of a roundabout area, where his house is at the end of a street, which is like a one way circle, so it's really difficult for cars to get in and out.
I'll draw it for you.
Anyway, we went down and got into place to wait.
Sure enough, exactly on time, the first car arrived. The driver got out and rang the doorbell. While this was happening, the second car arrived and blocked the first, and he also went up to the doorbell.
Kerry answered, and we couldn't here what was going on, but by the time the first driver walked away looking annoyed, four cars were there. One by one, the people arrived.
There was a short pause after the 11th car, where all the drivers were trying to get out at once. They were slowly working their way out, one by one, signalling to eachother when to go and stuff, when a 12th car arrive. Kerry was back inside by this point. Anyway, this dude got out. Dissapeared around the back for a minute, and came back with a ladder. He started climbing up the window.
My memory is a little sketchy but I'm pretty sure the snakecharmer arrived next.
Anyway, It basically worked. When the 12th and 13th cars came, they parked up the street and had to walk to his house because there were so many cars there. This all happened over about 20 minutes, but it was totally and utterly ridiculous.
It thinned out a bit after that, but the rest of the drivers came, and Kerry just started getting really angry.
So yeah, I got my revenge, and we definitely caused a physical denial of service attack. The experiment was a total and utter success.
We are planning round two. It will involve fire trucks. The larger the vehicle, the more effective the denial of service. A fire truck would take up most of the road, and if it arrives AFTER the other vehicles, it would definetly block them totally for at least a few minutes. Like the equivalent of a gigantic network packet.
